I Am Free!

After all of the grueling days spent with fevers and an endless amount of pain, I am finally free.

I got out my PICC line out along with stopping all of the antibiotics and I couldn’t be happier.

I feel good, for once. My lungs don’t feel as though a pile of bricks is on them. I am no longer coughing to the point that I throw up. I am able to actually stand and go about life without possibly fainting.

I am also happy to announce that I am officially going to England this summer. It was a spur of the moment decision I made a month or so ago, I was able to get in all the documents, forms, and payments. Now it is official that I am heading off and I am so so excited.

I will only be gone for three weeks where I will take a creative writing course of some sort to get credits. I do not know what to expect but I do have family over there so hopefully, they can guide me if everything gets to be too much.

I love traveling and I always will. Being admitted through the dates that I was supposed to go on a trip was absolutely devastating. But you can’t plan for things to happen (now I know to always purchase travel insurance), life works in its own way.

In the hospital, I just kept thinking of getting away and seeing the most beautiful views in England.

Speaking of when I was in the hospital, I couldn’t tell you how grateful I was for all of the people who stopped to visit me. Even though it wasn’t that long of a stay, people came to see me and it meant the absolute world to me. So to those special people, thank you so so much for giving me company, cards, sweet treats, etc. I will always remember it and cherish you.

This admission was different than most because I truly was going about my medical decisions by myself. I spent every night alone and handled my doctors without my family. I actually felt like an adult for once and yes, it was terrifying but it kind of felt good too.

Twenty is really changing who I am and I am just going along with it.

Love,

 

 

Toronto, Canada (Day 1 and 2)

I have never done so much nor had so much fun in just the bit of time that I have spent at a place like I have here.

My cousin, her two college besties and I, road tripped from New Jersey to Canada with only knowing where we were staying.

Not a day was planned out. We obviously made a list of things we had to see and do but other then that, it was all up in the air and I absolutely loved it.

The trip to Toronto, Canada started at 4 am and ended around 12 pm. I was only living on three hours of sleep so I could barely keep my eyes open but we made it (thank god).

It was actually kind of peaceful, driving. Everyone else was passed out while I just played my jams cruising down the winding roads (which I didn’t realize how dangerous they could be even if you tried to stay at the speed limit).

The car ride was spent either sleeping, stopping at Dunkin, getting gas, gossiping, jamming out, or searching up what to expect when we got to the border.

Right when we got to Canada, we screamed our heads off because we couldn’t believe that we actually did it.

Us, 19/20 year olds, going to another country all by ourselves. It was a pretty big deal to us at least.

After driving further into Canada, we went to a restaurant around our Air B and B called Loose Moose. They had the best burgers ever and it was super artsy.

After that we got to our Air B and B and slept for a few hours since we were all pretty exhausted.

We woke up, made more food, and went out to the town. We looked up different bars we could go to and went for it.

The first bar we went to wasn’t really for the younger crowd but we still hung around and had a good time.

The next bar was called the Underground. It was covered in different colored lights and bras were strung across the ceiling like decorations. Music blasted from the speakers and from the moment we stepped into the place, we couldn’t stop dancing.

We had an amazing time meeting very different kinds of people. The night ended with a visit to Tim Hortons (which is kind of like a Dunkin Donuts mixed with a Wawa). As we tripped and stumbled our way back home, we couldn’t stop laughing and talking about everything that happened earlier in the night.

I didn’t know Kristina’s college friends all that much but we definitely got to grow closer from all the memories we made. They are the sweetest, most kindest people.

That was just all the first day and the second day would be even better.

We spent the second day going to the CN tower, it was so beautiful to see the city and everything that surrounded it. We also went to Ripleys aquarium that had a 360 view of the shark tank which was pretty awesome.

For dinner, we went to a restaurant that Drake, the rapper, had been involved with (he named it). It was so delicious and a bit more expensive than anything else we ate in Canada but definitely worth it all.

Our day turned into a night spent at a Harry Potter themed bar called, The Lockhart. If you love Harry Potter (even just a little bit), you HAVE to go here. From drinks to the posters and art that covered the walls, it made you feel like you were truly in Harry Potter.

We only have two days left here but I plan to spend all of them the right way. I can’t wait for more memories to be made. I feel so lucky to be able to even experience this and do it with amazing people who truly bring out the best in me.

Love,

Here is the video I finally got done:

Coming to Terms

Yesterday, I had a doctor’s appointment that shook me to my core.

I don’t really want to go into details but there is a lot that I need to think about with my future.

It’s crazy to think that every choice I make about my health right now, will affect how long I live.

I am only twenty-years-old and I have to consider making a living will.

How is that possible?

I have just begun my life of exploring myself and the world.

It’s in these moments where I want to go up to every person that walks by me and say, “Live your life to the fullest. Live every day like it is your last. Appreciate every moment and memory you make and never regret a thing because it was meant to happen that way for a reason. Love your body and take care of it. Treasure every breath and step you take in life, it means more than you think.”

I always try to stay positive but over the years I have realized, it’s okay not to be positive.

It’s okay to feel down about yourself or down about life.

For there to be positivity, there needs to be negativity to balance it out.

After all, the awful things that you go through in life make you appreciate the good.

It’s taking those situations and realizing that its a part of life and you just got to keep going. Keep hoping. Keep praying that it will all work out in the end.

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