Pieces.

The thing is when people are cut out of our lives, there are still pieces of them that remain.

Old photographs you try to hide, somehow ending up on your nightstand. Or clothes you find in the corner of your room that you wore at a specific moment in time with them.

Whenever I drive past a place where a memory was made, it’s like I am instantly brought back to that moment when I was with that person.

I can see my old self with them, just living a normal life.

I look back on those moments and wish that I could have told myself what I know now.

But that’s not how life works.

You are meant to go through situations in order to learn from them, as painful as they may be.

What you overcome is what helps you grow.

Grow as an individual, grow in experience, grow in love.

There will always be pieces of that person lingering within your life because they were once a major part of it.

Once you accept that and not let it weigh you down in your new life, that’s when you can truly move on.

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Be Bold

It’s easy to let yourself fall into the grips of others.

Many people bring negativity around, in order to lessen your light.

The light that is your passions, dreams, and the unique traits that make you who you are.

You, the person reading this right now, are capable of changing this world and changing lives. Whatever purpose you want to fulfill in your life, you will do it.

You have that light, trust me, you do.

It kills me when I hear people say they cannot do something because they fear the judgment of others or they believe it won’t give them immediate satisfaction/success they yearn for.

This is what hinders you from truly shining brightly.

Go for whatever the hell you want to do. It can be the craziest and most unpredictable thing but if it gives you that motivation to live life to the absolute fullest, go for it.

If it brings you happiness, do it.

If you have a true passion for it, do it.

Forget about all of the fears or judgments.

This is your life. Live it boldly. In whatever way you want.

Be bold. 

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T w e n t y

By the time you see this, I am twenty-years-old.

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Caity.

Today is my birthday.

The day that I was given a life to live in any way I wanted.

It’s surreal to think how we were born with a clean slate. There was no past that followed us, no mistakes, no heartbreak, no pressures, we were simply brought into this world.

As we got older, we transformed into our own person where we made memories, friends, mistakes, and went through the unbearable. All parts of life that molded us into the people we have become.

I have now spent two decades on this earth.

Twenty birthdays.

7,300 days lived.

175,200 hours spent.

All of that time.

It may not seem like much but it’s been filled with the best moments of my life–so far–and the absolute worst.

At nine my life had changed forever, I found out I had Cystic Fibrosis. I also was gifted with the most amazing sister.

At ten, I would come to realize that I was sick and I was going to be sick for the rest of my life. Hospitalizations and medications were going to be a necessity for me to live.

At eleven, I would write in the pages of my journal every day to get out all the frustrations scrambling in my mind.

At twelve, I thought having side-bangs was the best hairstyle ever. I called myself a ‘skater-girl’ even though, I never owned a skateboard nor did I ride one.

At thirteen, I wanted to be like every other teenager. I also fell in love with Twilight and the idea of ‘love’, let’s just say I was embarrassingly obsessed with Edward and Bella.

At fourteen, I tried very hard to fit in with the ‘popular’ crowd. After feeling empty, I knew that I was the best person to be.

At fifteen, I had my third sinus surgery and multiple hospitalizations. Books and movies were my escape from any pain.

At sixteen, I really started to love and appreciate who I was, inside and out. Nothing beats that self-realization.

At seventeen, I met a person who changed my life entirely. Life started to get very real when putting in college applications and thinking about the future.

At eighteen, I was blissfully happy. I got accepted into my school, fell in love, and had the best memories.

At nineteen, between college and new changes, it shook me to my core. I had changed more than I ever had before.

I also found my voice, writing, to you all.

I am so grateful for everything I have been given in life and for all the things that have happened to me. I have seen the worst of the worst and been through my fair share of it too but in all of it, it’s given me that reason to wake up in the morning hoping that day will be one of the best days of my life.

For I have also experienced the most amazing moments, filled with so much love and happiness. All the pain is worth the parts of life that leave you with that warm feeling in the pit of your stomach, where life seems too good to be true, that you are way too lucky. In those moments, I take a deep breath, look around me, and I take in every minute of that pure joy and remind myself to never forget it.

At twenty…well, I still have memories to make and lessons to learn. But I’ll keep you updated on all of that.

So here’s to twenty years on this earth, and many more decades to come.

Love,

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· Never forget that you are beautiful, you are amazing, and you deserve everything you want in this world ·

Made: 1/14/2018