Scotland

If there is a place that I love more than anything now, it has to be Scotland.

It is truly beautiful, inside and out. There is so much history hidden behind the walls and curves of every road. It honestly feels as though you are in a movie or a book. There are so many nooks and crannies; from alley ways to hidden walkways that lead to unique shops and cafes.

You can see the beautiful Edinburgh castle, resting on the edge of a cliff. Looking as if it is about to tip over into the picturesque town. Brief glimpses of the castle pours through the spaces in between buildings.

When we had first gotten here, a smile was plastered to my face. I couldn’t help it, Scotland has a way of doing that to you.

So far we have gone on the infamous Harry Potter tour (which is free by the way), a night ghost tour, Edinburgh castle, New Town, and Old town.

You could sit in a cafe, reading, writing, and even people watching for hours at a time. The streets are filled with stores and covered with merchants in small tents. You also have the entertainers doing magic tricks, playing instruments, or simply just having a very cute dog with sunglasses on.

We are leaving tomorrow and we have sadly only been here for one full day but it was completely worth it.

I am in shell shock and wish endlessly to spend more time here.

Love,

Caity

P.S. here are some pics from the trip đź’› https://breathingwithcaity.files.wordpress.com/2018/07/img_2336.mov

I Am Struggling

A lot is going on in my life right now and I feel as though it is never-ending.

I wish things could just work out the way you wanted. I wish relationships didn’t have to end. I wish people didn’t have to leave. I wish that people didn’t get sick. I wish that the heart wasn’t so fragile. I wish that I didn’t feel everything as a stab to the heart.

I just wish that everything was okay.

But it’s not and I am struggling. People are so afraid to admit that, why? Isn’t struggling a part of life?

Struggle promotes change.

Change gives light to new perspectives and new ways of life. Although I always hated change, I am slowly growing onto the love relationship of it all.

I believe that there is a set path for everyone in life. Wherever life takes you, it was meant to be.

So change may be annoying and inevitable, causing us to struggle for a period of time but it’s the path we need to take to get to our destination (where ever that may be).

So keep struggling because eventually, you won’t be. There’s always those brief moments of time where everything is okay when a smile doesn’t leave your face, and there is no longer a pit in your stomach. Just got to keep fighting for that time.

On a side note, I made a video for my cystic fibrosis story. I am not sure what I am going to be doing on my channel but I am just hoping that one video can make a difference and spread awareness.

Let me know if you enjoyed it and if you enjoyed this blog post!

Love,

Gracie’s Wish

My beautiful little sister made a wish to go to Disney World and it was finally granted!

The smiles and laughs that I have seen and heard from her, have brought so much warmth.

My sister has been through a lot in the little time that she has been on this earth. From hospitalizations to missing months of school because of Cystic Fibrosis, she is always in pain and suffering.

These moments with us on vacation are the things that I hope can make her forget about all the pain she faces on a daily basis.

I wish I could leave her in these beautiful moments forever, where she is so unbelievably happy and carefree.

I would do anything to make that possible for her.

The trip has been absolutely amazing so far. Make-A-Wish has been awesome in making sure that all of our travels have been smooth and successful (especially when it comes to getting in the express lanes for rides).

We are residing at Give The Kids The World and let me just tell you, the people who volunteer and work here are the kindest people you will ever meet.

They have really made the stay here so comfortable and stress-free.

All the volunteers want to do is help you in any way they can, whether it’s bringing your food to the table or making you ice cream or even doing your hair and nails. All they spread is love and positivity to every child and adult they interact with.

Give Kids The World has events going on constantly such as birthday parties of characters or Christmas nights. They have horseback riding, movie nights, arcades, rides, pools, golf, fishing, you name it they probably have it somewhere around here.

So far we have been to Hollywood Studios, Magic Kingdom, and Universal Studios: the Island of Adventure in just two days.

I had my go-pro with me since the beginning of our journey because I want my sister to remember these moments.

To remember that there are so many amazing moments in life that outweigh the bad.

That she has a family that loves her and adores her. A family that will always be there for her.

So I made a video, that way when the pain is too much or she just wants to look back on all the things we did, she can.

I love you, Gracie. Always.

Part 1:

Part 2:

So many memories made that will never be forgotten.

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Pieces.

The thing is when people are cut out of our lives, there are still pieces of them that remain.

Old photographs you try to hide, somehow ending up on your nightstand. Or clothes you find in the corner of your room that you wore at a specific moment in time with them.

Whenever I drive past a place where a memory was made, it’s like I am instantly brought back to that moment when I was with that person.

I can see my old self with them, just living a normal life.

I look back on those moments and wish that I could have told myself what I know now.

But that’s not how life works.

You are meant to go through situations in order to learn from them, as painful as they may be.

What you overcome is what helps you grow.

Grow as an individual, grow in experience, grow in love.

There will always be pieces of that person lingering within your life because they were once a major part of it.

Once you accept that and not let it weigh you down in your new life, that’s when you can truly move on.

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Be Bold

It’s easy to let yourself fall into the grips of others.

Many people bring negativity around, in order to lessen your light.

The light that is your passions, dreams, and the unique traits that make you who you are.

You, the person reading this right now, are capable of changing this world and changing lives. Whatever purpose you want to fulfill in your life, you will do it.

You have that light, trust me, you do.

It kills me when I hear people say they cannot do something because they fear the judgment of others or they believe it won’t give them immediate satisfaction/success they yearn for.

This is what hinders you from truly shining brightly.

Go for whatever the hell you want to do. It can be the craziest and most unpredictable thing but if it gives you that motivation to live life to the absolute fullest, go for it.

If it brings you happiness, do it.

If you have a true passion for it, do it.

Forget about all of the fears or judgments.

This is your life. Live it boldly. In whatever way you want.

Be bold. 

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You Will Always Be Most Important

“Do what makes your soul happy.”

It has always been one of my favorite sayings.

The most important thing in your life is your happiness.

You could live to make everyone else happy but when you get in your warm bed at the end of the night, cuddled up with blankets, the darkness, and left with your thoughts; that’s when it hits you.

You have this deep pain that resonates from within you, making you uncomfortable in your own skin.

Dissatisfaction.

The smile that you may have carried on throughout the day, wavers entirely.

Your thoughts feel like a looming dark cloud. You do everything you can to avoid them.

Maybe if you act happy, you will be happy. You are making all the people around you happy so that’s all that matters.

That’s what you repeat to yourself over and over again.

The truth of it all is who gives a shit about anyone else’s happiness?

Make your decisions based upon your own values. Don’t think about what your parents, friends, acquaintances, or what people on social media will think.

You are not them.

You are not living their life.

You are you.

You are living your life.

Your morals and views may differ completely and that is okay.

What makes you happy, doesn’t have to make anyone else happy but you.

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Decidophobia

What is decidophobia?

Well, it lies in the name. It is the fear of decisions.

That has been a fear of mine since I was a kid. I could never fully make a decision on my own without the opinions of others.

Either that or I would look for signs in shows, movies, and everyday life.

Subtle hints from a higher power that I should do this, instead of that.

But as we all grow, we lose the fears and phobias we once had. Mine is slowly dissipating.

I am at a time in my life where there are a lot of decisions that need to be made. From what major I choose to the profession I want to be in for the rest of my life. 

It’s a never-ending spiral of decisions that you, yourself, have to make.

It is one of the most terrifying yet thrilling parts of life. This is the time where we have to go on our own path. A path where we decided to go, without the influence of others. A path that may be filled with many hazardous bumps but, in the end, be what we needed to come out on the other side.

Even though I have made some of these decisions and are still making the rest of them, my phobia still hides in the corners of my mind. For any decision, wrong or right, can change your life. But it’s all a part of destiny, right?

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*Written in 11/08/15*