Many drafts have been left with updates that have needed to be posted. They felt unsatisfying. I want this post to express my happiness & get you up to speed with where I am at in life, currently.
I got married to the love of my life on May 14th. To say it was amazing would be an understatement. It was the most magical moment of my entire life. I was in a cloud of surrealism and elation. All of the stress and mental breakdowns were slim to standing across from my life partner saying “I do”. I dreamt about that moment since dating when I was 17 years old. There have been more challenges than I thought possible throughout the years, times where we couldn’t have worked out but in the end, we did. People would call it a miracle, others fate. To me, I always knew in my heart that it would happen and I never gave up.
All I get asked now is “How’s married life treating you?”, with that I either respond with “Good” or “Nothing has changed.” But in reality, everything has changed. Not just my last name but the solidity of our relationship. To know that he will be my person forever makes my heart flutter and soothes my soul.
It’s in committing to each other each day.
It’s in understanding each other’s minds/opinions despite the differences we may have.
It’s working together as a team.
It’s choosing each other in the face of any adversity.
It’s not easy but every single bit of it is worth it. He brings out the best in me as I do in him. He is my best friend, my soul mate. I feel fortunate enough to have met the love of my life and married him, all in one lifetime.
The wedding itself was indescribable. Every person involved with the prep of the wedding or in the wedding, went above and beyond to make the day perfect for us. Our family and friends projected so much love and support. You could feel every ounce of love radiating throughout the ceremony and reception. It was the happiest time of my life. To be surrounded by people we love; laughing, dancing, and celebrating us. If you could see my face right now, it’s covered in tears while I try to control my sobs.
I have a note on my phone that is called “key moments”. It’s a list of important moments in my life that I don’t want to forget, small or big. A time that you know change is about to ensue, where the earth seems to move in slow motion, and something just clicks. In times where I feel lost, I look to them to reassure me of my path in life.
A key moment:
Brett and I decided to do our personal vows, privately, prior to the ceremony. My nerves were getting the best of me and I felt sick to my stomach. Everything seemed to speed by and I had no control. I wanted to enjoy every little piece of time that I spent so long planning. I wanted everyone to be happy. My heart wouldn’t stop racing. Thinking of the “what ifs” and horrible situations that could occur.
I got called to do the personal vows at a stone wall separating the both of us outside of my bridal room, we had our backs to each other. Each of us holding a small vow book filled with words that would never amount to the extent of our heart and soul connection but gave a synopsis. I was shaking and of course, I was first to go. I grasped onto his hand and my heart calmed slightly. My sweaty palms squeezing his hand as I started. My words were all over the place and my crying didn’t help to that effect. Once I finished, I felt relieved but nervous to no end. Brett started his vows, the words he spoke were none I have ever heard. So beautifully put and spoken with such eloquence. Instantly my nerves disappeared. I no longer worried about the faces watching us, people’s expectations, or my plans failing. It was about us, finally intertwining our souls forever. That was all I needed.
We separated and prepped to walk down the aisle. The serene calm continued to follow me. I walked down the aisle and he cried which made me cry and everyone else around us cry. When I finally made it to the altar, I remember looking in his eyes, knowing this was how it was always supposed to be. Every fraction of time lead up to this. It was beautiful and all-consuming.
What followed afterward was my feet never leaving the dance floor. I danced with almost every single person at that wedding. The pure euphoria of screaming and dancing with your loved ones is insurmountable. Brett took one for the team and did the rounds of talking at each table. I wish I could go back. Thankfully I had the most amazing photographers and videographer to capture the day and allow me to watch it on repeat for the rest of our lives. I can’t wait to show our kids one day.
I hope this post gave a glimpse into my life but also made you think of your own key moments. Start to write down whenever you feel a key moment. In times when you feel amiss, look back on the list to ground you. To give the clarity your heart is yearning for. I swear it works.
P.S. Writing this post also falls on my husband’s birthday. So happy birthday my love, here’s to a lifetime of more birthdays to come.