What I Have Become

  I was the epitome of lost, found in the place I started from the very beginning all along, decisions never chosen, goals always achieved, dissatisfied but complacent, yearning to be known, satisfied to be unknown, missing the humid summer nights at the beach, disliking the crisp nights huddled around the fire, healthy mentally, physically sick, anticipating the future, terrified of the outcome, to make something of myself, not knowing how, show the world I can live a long life, theres no contract to guarantee it, crave affection, deny feeling anything, enjoying the small moments, letting the big ones pass by, loathe change, appreciate it afterwards, watching discrimination, not having the audacity to do anything about it, callow at heart, mature in reality, etching my life onto thin paper, conscious that the words will have no meaning in the end, gaining friendships, losing the ones I cared for, breathtaking views, sorrowful perspective, comfortable sheets, itchy restless ashen sheets, quickly time passes, the world revolving slowly around me, letting go and having fun, always being careful, inspired by people and novels, fantasizing too much, glee filled moments with my loved ones possibly forgotten, always engraved in my soul, self pity, compassion for people around me, detesting hate, spreading warmth, calming waves welcomed in the morning, thrashing waves at dusk, distinct aroma of pancakes drenched in syrup, gone with the days of school, photographing every giggle, replaced with videos of contagious laughter, questioning life’s situations and problems thrown at me, discovering it was meant to be, starting to uncover the beauties lying within winter, has long forgotten summer, I was shy, timid, scared, insecure, constantly embarrassed and nervous, I may hold some qualities from my past, but the present holds who I truly am and have been the whole time, worthy, unique, intelligent, kind, brave, strong, content, beautiful.   

Blush Pink Stripes Black Clothing Label

*A piece I wrote for my English class in my Sophomore year of high school.*  

         

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